Review - Julian's Paleo Bread

I've messed around with paleo bread recipes  the past. They usually require almond and coconut flour, and I haven't ever gotten one perfect. Mushy in the middle, crumbly. This may just be due to my cooking skills. When I really need something to cover the innards of my steak, avocado, and bacon sandwich, I'll use a Flatout low-carb Wrap or a Low-Carb tortilla. I know both of these use gluten and other wheaty stuff to make the low-carb magic happen, but I let it slide. They don't bother my stomach or my blood sugar.  I'm no model of Paleo perfection, I do what is easy and fun and fast.

ENTER: Julian's Bakery Paleo Bread

Dayumn Girl! Is it possible? It's shaped like bread and I didn't have to make it myself! And look at thise sparse list of sexy ingredients:

Ingredients: Purified Water, Organic Coconut Flour, Egg Whites, Psyllium, Organic Apple Cider Vinegar, Baking Soda.

Why, I could feel downright angelic chawing on this.  Let's give it a go.
ROUND 1: Sandwhich. The innards are my home-made chicken salad.

 I pick it up. It's. Firm... Good to hold on to. It's not crumbling of mushy.
I bite into it. It's still firm. Hmm. I have to chew a lot. The flavor is slightly of eggs. The texture is kind of like craft foam.

I get full quick, due to all the fiber. And I stay full for a long time. But it wasn't the softy, sandwich experience I was looking for. It held it's bread-shaped shape the whole time. So that was... practical. But not delicious.

ROUND 2: French Toast.

It's been a few days and I know, due to the lack of preservatives, this bread isn't gonna keep long, Even in my fridge. I'm the only one in the house eating it, and it feels like a daunting task to get through this firm, fibrous loaf in time.
So I soak it in eggs, cinnamon, and vanilla, and fry it up in bacon grease. It will surely become amazing when covered in the nectar of the Paleo gods, right?
Well?

Still chewy and dense. Now filled with tasty eggs and grease, but hard to get through. Like the sandwich, the best part is that it holds the things I put in/on it. Again, I ate it all because I gotta polish off this loaf before it spoils.


PROS:
Top level angelic tier PALEO.
Holds a sandwhich.
Has a variety made with just coconut flour. (I don't like almonds.)
An exploratory step in the right direction for bakers.

CONS:
$7 - 8 A loaf
Pretty tasteless
Texture of a non-food.
So much fiber it slowed my inner systems for a day. (Sorry. Eww.)

VERDICT:
Maybe I'm just a bad cook. Maybe I did something wrong. But I can't make this bread taste amazing. Even my homemade attempts at paleo bread came out softer, cheaper and more flavorful. If I'm really craving a non-tortilla bread item to hold sandwich innards, I'd rather make some Microwave Cheddar Bread or a Flax Minuite Muffin. I won't be buying this again unless they find some amazing, natural way to make it soft and tasty.

Chewily yours,
-Kelly